The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to help individuals document instances where they feel their emotions have been hurt. This form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer to be processed. While the intent is to provide a means for expressing feelings, the language used in the form may raise eyebrows and provoke discussion about the seriousness of emotional well-being.
The Hurt Feelings Report form is an unconventional tool designed for individuals who feel emotionally wounded and seek validation for their experiences. This form serves a specific purpose: to assist those who may be struggling with their feelings by providing a structured way to document their grievances. It requires the individual, referred to humorously as a "whiner," to fill out various sections that capture personal information, details about the incident, and the perceived emotional injury. The form includes sections for administrative data, incident reports, and even a narrative space for individuals to express how their feelings were hurt. While the tone of the form is light-hearted, it addresses the serious nature of emotional well-being. Individuals are encouraged to share their experiences, and the report is treated with a degree of levity, acknowledging the sometimes trivial nature of the complaints while still validating the feelings of those involved. Importantly, the form emphasizes that the disclosure of information is voluntary, though it humorously warns that repeated submissions may lead to certain labels. Ultimately, the Hurt Feelings Report form aims to offer a unique outlet for emotional expression, providing a pathway for individuals to seek support in a manner that is both engaging and somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
HURT FEELINGS REPORT
To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer
DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974
AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:
ROUTINE USES:
DISCLOSURE:
S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings
Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares
Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term
PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA
A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)
B. WHINER'S AGE
C. WHINER'S SEX
D. DATE OF REPORT
E. TYPE OF WHINE USED
F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM
PART II - INCIDENT REPORT
A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT
B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS
C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS
D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)
E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS
F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE
G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT
PART III - INJURY
(Circle all that apply)
1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?
2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?
LEFT
RIGHT
BOTH
YES
NO
MAYBE
3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?
4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?
MULTIPLE
PART IV - REASON FOR
FILING THIS REPORT
(Mark all that apply)
I am thin skinned
The Dept needs to fix my problems
Two beers is not enough
I am a wimp
My feelings are easily hurt
My hands should be in my pockets
I have woman / man-like hormones
I didn't sign up for this
I was not offered a tissue
I am a crybaby
I was told that I am not a hero
Someone requested a tissue
I want my mommy
The weather is too cold
All of the above and more
NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)
PART V - AUTHENTICATION
A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)
B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)
C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)
We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.
The Hurt Feelings Report form is often accompanied by several other documents that help to provide context or additional information regarding the incident. Here are some commonly used forms that might be relevant:
These documents work together to create a comprehensive understanding of the situation and provide the necessary support for individuals who may be struggling with their emotions. Each form plays a unique role in addressing the concerns raised in the Hurt Feelings Report, ensuring that no one feels alone in their experience.
How to Write a Daily Report to Your Boss - It can be used in conjunction with other security protocols and forms.
The California Transfer-on-Death Deed form simplifies the process of transferring real estate to a chosen beneficiary. For a detailed understanding of how this can benefit you, explore our guide on the necessary Transfer-on-Death Deed procedure.
Can I Print 5 Wishes for Free? - It simplifies communication about your desires regarding serious illness, avoiding guesswork for your loved ones.
Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form requires attention to detail and an understanding of its purpose. Here are some key takeaways to consider:
The Hurt Feelings Report form is designed to help individuals document their emotional distress in a structured way. It serves as a tool for those who feel their feelings have been hurt, allowing them to seek sympathy and support from others. While the disclosure of information is voluntary, it is important to note that repeated submissions may lead to humorous labels being applied to the report.
To fill out the form, follow these steps:
Make sure to sign the report to authenticate it, as this adds a personal touch to your submission.
Anyone who feels their feelings have been hurt can submit this report. It is designed for individuals who wish to express their emotional distress and seek sympathy. However, it must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer to be considered valid.
Once you submit the form to a law enforcement officer, it will be reviewed. The department takes hurt feelings seriously and will make every effort to provide support. If needed, a "hugger" may be dispatched to comfort you. In case a hugger is unavailable, an EMS team may be sent to assist you further. Additionally, supplemental support items like a "blankie" or "binky" can be requested.
Yes, there may be follow-up actions depending on the nature of your report. The department aims to address the concerns raised in the report and provide appropriate support. If you require additional assistance or have further questions, do not hesitate to reach out for help.
Misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form can lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Here are ten common misconceptions, clarified for better understanding:
Understanding these misconceptions can help individuals navigate their feelings and the use of the Hurt Feelings Report form with greater clarity and confidence.